Wednesday, October 23, 2013


This is a tongue in cheek column to illustrate the absurdity of what the industry of lifting weights has become....its NOT about training athletes but about training bodybuilders and power least it made me laugh. And it will make Justin Keane laugh, , Jamie Lewis, Paul Carter, And Beau and maybe Rip and My girls and Stephen.......and of course Marty

Ah, you missed a rep.

Man, you chose to follow some program that somebody wrote who never trained a soul in is life.  You wanted to compete, but you chickened out because your singlet showed your lack of testicles. Then your form sucked. Your spotter helped you and told you it was all you, all you. Its all you man! Your butt flew up, your squats were nose bleed high. Your assistance work isn't getting you massive because you are using 30 pounds on your dumbell bench presses.

You wanted to listen to Darkthrone, but you couldn't, because you girlfriend likes Eminem. She rules you and she is stronger than you this-

                                               Cristi 105x3, dunbell bench. HAHA!

      You have no heart to push through a rep because everyone has always told you that you were a tough Guy, and that you should not overtrain. HAHA! Overtrain. Coward. Yes, you are a coward, you look like a garden gnome, but your training partners all tell you that you look good! That elliptical is killing it! Pilates! Dumbell rollouts!  go to it big guy! it! Your NO2 is killing it!Pre workout shake makes all the difference! NO RED MEAT!!! What are you, a neanderthal?

Kazmaier was soft! Be a supple leopard/lion/jaguar/fire ant! C'mon man, nobody knows a damn thing but you and your tiny little friends! They wrap their knees at at 275 with their red adidas shoes that came out of somewhere someplace. Barefeet? Arnold was soft! Draper too! Damn I am glad that those days are gone! Franco deadlifting 750! Soft ass!  He  needed to prehabrehab/frehab/slestack before he attempted that! Robby Robinson saying that they ate redmeat 4-5 times a day?/ LIAR!  A liar because he LIES!...He said that they just trained and didnt count grams of anything! Why say that? Because he doesn't want to give out secrets that may make you strong and huge! He is in his 60's and looks good, must be the lies that keep him going.  Check out around 1:45

Maybe you should bench less because that's what Kirk did. Maybe you should bench more because that's what Sheiko says. Hell, Sheiko benched all the time. Kirk didn't because he was built like a brontosauras and had more heart than anyone else alive. He could have benched once a month and made gains because he GOT IT FREAKING DONE. Failure was never an option. And he got it done because it meant more to him than anything else in the world.

Whine , cry and make excuses. That is fine. But you'll never be really strong, And oh my gosh! you may get hurt. Everybody does.Everybody gets hurt when they push the envelope. You should ache, have tendinitis, have trouble sleeping. No, not with little weights, with BIG weights. You will wreck your joints, tear your quads, you biceps, and hell, just pick something, it is coming.

So just put all your excuses in a huge basket by your crib and pick one each day. Use it and whimper and stay weak. Great job. You have joined the "Blameevryonebutyourself crowd that this society is so famous for!

All About Being a Lifer

What's a Lifer? Someone who isn't in to something for just a day, a month, a's for life. Whether its training or your family or your doesn't matter. You work at it, you build on it, you see the big picture . You don't miss workouts because it means something to you. You are like a Shakespearean actor- no matter what is going on in your life, you block it out when it's time to train. You walk into the weight room and all else disappears. Worry about it later.