Monday, June 30, 2014

Bas Barbell's Gym in the Front/Bar in the Back Rules and Regulations

This is a column from 2012. I made some changes, and I will probably continue to add /subtract rules as time goes on.



Some hard and fast rules for Bas Barbell's Gym in the Front/Bar in the Back

1. Squat deep

2. Chalk must be used

3. No Velcro belts

4. Honorary president- Ronnie Van Zant

5. No backpacks unless they are camo and have a canteen

6. You must Deadlift a certain minimum weight to give advice to anyone- 700 for men, 405 for women

7. Don't say can't

8. No false chatter, no cheering of any sort,

9. No shaking of protein shakes for more that 10 seconds, 5 seconds is preferred

10. No clapping, No celebrating of any kind. The less words the better.

11. No machines

12. No stretching

13. No phones except the payphone on the wall

14. Music is decided upon by the strongest person in the gym.
Official War Metal Band- Recluse.
Official Country Band- Hank III
Old Metal Band-Superjoint Ritual
Rap Band- Nobody

15. Maryland flag must be prominently displayed

16. No water bottles. Absolutely none. Drink from the sink.

17. Only beers above 5.2% allowed , official beer is the one Cristi and I drank in NC- Double dog Flying something. It was like 11%. Vodka or Maryland Moonshine or George Dickel is preferred .

18. Only Mason Jars to drink from.

19. Sawdust on the bar floor

20. Jukebox in the corner

21. Arm wrestling station in the corner. Fights are allowed but only in the field out back. No kicking, because Johnny B says only girls kick in his neighborhood. So girls are allowed to kick, I guess.

22. Dogs are allowed and encouraged in the gym and bar area. Big dogs only, Nothing less than fifty pounds.

23. Dropping of dumbells allowed, Dropping of Mason Jars is not allowed

24. Hats on frontwards or backwards, never sideways

25.Outlaw MC gangs encouraged to join

26. Six month trial for all new members, gym members must vote unanimously on the new member

27. Certain folks are grandfathered in- Randy White and any old Baltimore Colts

28. Food on the menu? Maryland Crabs, Steak, burgers, pork roll sandwiches, Old Bay Fries


All About Being a Lifer

What's a Lifer? Someone who isn't in to something for just a day, a month, a year...it's for life. Whether its training or your family or your job...it doesn't matter. You work at it, you build on it, you see the big picture . You don't miss workouts because it means something to you. You are like a Shakespearean actor- no matter what is going on in your life, you block it out when it's time to train. You walk into the weight room and all else disappears. Worry about it later.