I Remember When

 I remember when

My little league football coach would send us to take a piss in the woods and the coach would yell, after a few minutes,"Let's go boys! If you shake it more than once, you are playing with it." He's be put in jail for that today. Toxic masculinity. 

I remember when

no grown man would be seen with their baby in a backpack/sack type of thing in front of them. Pushing a stroller is bad enough.

I remember when

going to McDonald's was an every 6 month treat, not a 3 times a week regularity for a family. We only went to McDonalds when we won a big football game, or when my mother ate liver, which everyone hated except her.

I remember when

folks went into a gym to train, not to take videos of themselves with their little matching outfits on. Dude, that's so weird. Old days was cutoff sweatshirt, white athletic tape on wrists, Chuck Taylor's, gray sweatpants over the calf. What is this Gymshark stuff everyone wears?

I remember when 

NFL players didn't act like they were on fire and danced like fools when they made a freaking tackle. It used to be cool just to act cool.

I remember when

Nobody worried about concussions, they just f**ked people up and accepted the consequences.

I remember when

Everyone wanted to be Clint Eastwood.

I remember when

 my 80 pound football team rode in the open back of my football coach's El Camino on Interstate 95 and when we went under the overpasses, we all yelled and we sounded so loud. No parents freaked out.

I remember when

going to the movies was a big deal, and the movie theatres were packed on opening night of a big movie, Like Conan. Back when Arnold had testicles.

I remember when

You never saw anyone wearing a mask and hardly anyone ever got sick because we all played in the dirt all day long.

I remember when

Lynyrd Skynyrd ruled my world, and AC/DC and Van Halen weren't far behind

I remember when 

a band had to sing and play instruments to be a band. 

I remember when 

Everyone loved America. There were disagreements, but the vast majority of folks were patriotic. Like, you can say what you want to your family but nobody from the outside was allowed to insult them.

I remember when

You didn't feel as though someone was watching everything that you do

I remember when

freedom was a God given right, not a government given right

I remember when

Walmart sold hunting stuff

I remember when

everybody hunted or at least had a neighbor who hunted

I remember when 

being bored was just part of life

I remember when

nobody got divorced

I remember when

streetfights were just a way of life as a kid

I remember when 

you could bust someone's chops without them getting all offended

I remember when

Kids played outside all day

I remember when

you were thought of as strange if you lifted weights