Friday, May 3, 2019

Gym Musings

I was going to write a column about how people have no idea how to lift weights in a public gym, but that can wait. I mean, is it really that important? Probably not.

But I could make some jokes about this one lady who jumps all over the place and monopolizes a bunch of dumbells and then stands in front of another bunch of dumbells so nobody can use them either and jumps all around wasting her time because she's not getting stronger or more muscular and I'm dying to ask her why she just doesnt go do 5 sets of squats, deads and presses and then she could leave and she would get more out of her training than that horseshit she is doing. But then I thought that maybe I should just give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe she is using the funky monkey routine all as a stress release because she has something horrible going on in her life, so she just goes crazy in there to relieve the tension in her awful life. So even though I want to ask her JUST WHAT THE HELL SHE IS DOING, I don't say anything. Plus it makes me so irritated that she hopping around like a bunny on meth that I focus harder when I lift. Stuff like that fuels me, its so freaking pathetic and irritating.

And I am dying to know why people think that when they are using a machine that nobody else can use it either. Because in the old days, we would ask, can I work in with you? And you'd do your set and then he would do his set and you'd encourage each other and then when you were done, you moved on and maybe you worked in with somebody else. Now, people do a set, then they sit there on the bench or machine that they were using and they claim it for all of their sets. I think that they just don't know about the concept of working in. I should write about it, educate some folks.

There was a kid in the gym the other day, blonde kid, like 22 years old. Skinny, no muscle to speak of. Skinny. That like skinny muscularity, like they have veins and their muscles are defined but they are spindly, like 12 inch arms . Anyway, I'm not judging him, just describing. So I look over and he has his shirt up and he's looking at his abs in the mirror. I almost hurled. Now, if you are badassedely huge and you hit a double biceps pose during an arm workout, fine. But definitely not the ab thing when you are skinny. Hell, never the ab thing.

You know why I don't like guys like that?  Because when I was in college, there was a group of girls that I hung out with sometimes, cheerleaders. Popular, nice, pretty, the whole deal. And one time, two of the cheerleaders were talking and they were talking about some really skinny guy like the guy who was in the gym showing his abs. Same kind of look. Anyway, they were like, did you see Billy? And the one goes, yeah, he's so hot! Did you see his muscles? I was in the next room, eavesdropping and I walked into the room where they were talking.  I went into the room and I said, MUSCLES? HE WEIGHS 145 pounds! And they were like, yeah, but he's ripped.

I think I just put my head down, shook it and walked away. And that why I don't like guys like that.  Anyway, the kid in the gym was sitting there with his shirt up and he's got these huge headphones on his head, looking like Gazoo from the Flintstones. But then I thought, Jim,  leave him be. He may have some issues that are really bothering him and he needs this shit. He needs that damn “abtastic” poseathon to get him through whatever he is going through. So i just nodded my head at him and walked on.

Plus , people who don't know what they are doing may think that I don't know what I am doing because they have no idea what they are doing. So they may be like, who does the sweaty guy in camo think that he is over there? He doesn't have any idea what he is doing. And he lifts with eyes closed sometimes. How can he look at his phone during a set if he's got his eyes closed?

I could write a column about all of that stuff, but who really cares? Better to just let people live their lives and especially their gym lives they way that they want to live them.

All About Being a Lifer

What's a Lifer? Someone who isn't in to something for just a day, a month, a's for life. Whether its training or your family or your doesn't matter. You work at it, you build on it, you see the big picture . You don't miss workouts because it means something to you. You are like a Shakespearean actor- no matter what is going on in your life, you block it out when it's time to train. You walk into the weight room and all else disappears. Worry about it later.