Friday, March 1, 2019

Bas' Barbell Gym and Bar

I started thinking how cool it would be to have a gym and bar combo to go to. A gym with old York weights and a heavy bag in the middle of the gym, and dumbells that go up to 200 plus pounds and where the music comes from a boombox in the corner. A gym where you can train shirtless and barefoot and where there isn't anyone checking social media or texting.  A place where you can get done with a great training session and go through the next set of doors and see all of your buddies and have a good time. A bar where everyone feels right at home. Where the mugs are always frosty and the bartender has an attitude but deep down inside she's a sweetheart but she does have a gun behind the mini fridge if anyone pisses her off.  One where the people police themselves. One where if you feel like punching someone in the face or getting punched in the face, everyone heads out back and the two participants put on some gloves and get it on. No big deal.

I have been in great gyms and I have been in great bars, but never the two combined. The time is now for this to happen! Hell, I will be the owner. So here are some of the rules for my establishment:

Some hard and fast rules for Bas Barbell's Gym and Bar

1. NO stretching allowed. In the gym or in the bar.

2. Chalk is allowed and encouraged.

3. No Velcro belts, ever.

4. Honorary president of gym-Kirk Karwoski  Honorary president of the bar- Ronnie Van Zant

5. No backpacks allowed unless they are camo and have a slot for a canteen

6. You must Deadlift a certain minimum weight to give advice to anyone- 700 for men, 405 for women

7. No whining (in the gym or the bar)

8. No false chatter, no cheering of any sort, no high fives, no clapping

9.  Absolutely no phones allowed except for the payphone on the wall at the back of the bar.

10. Music is controlled by the strongest person in the gym. One rule about the music no matter how damn strong you are: No rap

13. No tights/yoga thingies of any kind. Cut off sweat pants encouraged.

14. Use of the outdoor shower is on a first come first serve basis. Bring your own towel. The hose outside can also be used. 

15. Must know the password to come in. Password is Bill Starr

16. Maryland flag must be prominently displayed in gym and bar.

17. No water bottles. Absolutely none. Drink from the sink.

18. Official beer is Budweiser, official whiskey is George Dickel

19. Mason Jars are the only glasses to drink from in the bar.

20. Budweiser and a shot of Dickel are 5 dollars everyday

21. Jukebox in the corner of the bar must play only country, southern rock and metal. Marshall Tucker, Kieth Whitley, Merle Haggard, Skynyrd and Pantera (Not Cowboys from Hell), are the main artists on there. Each play costs a quarter.

22.  Fights are allowed but only in the field out back. No kicking, because Johnny B from Southwest Philly says that only girls kick in his neighborhood. So girls are allowed to kick when they fight, I guess.

Take it out back, Elvis!

23. Dogs are allowed and encouraged in the gym and bar area. Big dogs only. No yapping dogs. No fluffy dogs. No dogs with sweaters or bells. 

24. Dropping of dumbells allowed. Dropping of Mason Jars not allowed

24. Hats on frontwards or backwards, never sideways

25. Guns and knives are encouraged in bar area.

26. Six month trial for all new members, gym members must vote unanimously on the new member

27. Certain folks are grandfathered in-Randy White and any old Baltimore Colts

28. Any military active or retired are allowed in. If you are in the military and are not 21, you can still lift here and also drink here. If you are putting your life on the line for your country, you can have a few beers.

28. Food on the menu? Maryland Crabs, Steak, burgers, pork roll sandwiches, Old Bay fries, cream of crab soup, rockfish sandwiches.

29. Dart throwing area and knife/axe throwing area in the bar are used on a first come/first serve basis. 

30. No darts or knives or axes are allowed to be used while fighting. 

31. Sign the waiver so you can't sue anyone if you get your ass beat. Proper etiquette upon receiving an ass beating is to shake hands, walk back into the bar and buy your opponent a drink. 

32. No man buns. Even if you deadlift 1,000 pounds, no man buns.

All About Being a Lifer

What's a Lifer? Someone who isn't in to something for just a day, a month, a's for life. Whether its training or your family or your doesn't matter. You work at it, you build on it, you see the big picture . You don't miss workouts because it means something to you. You are like a Shakespearean actor- no matter what is going on in your life, you block it out when it's time to train. You walk into the weight room and all else disappears. Worry about it later.