I have been a little ....conflicted, lets say, about writing lately. Maybe what I write is taken the wrong way or that it smacks of sappiness for some or it is not enough about training or...but then I figured that if it helps one person, one person out there needing a voice to tell them that it is alright or that its gonna work out, or just take ACTION and you can do it also. SO, really, if this stuff is not your cup of tea, simply do not read it. Or start your own blog. That is it. Put yourself out there. Or simply live your life hiding behind the keyboard like a coward. Either way, this stuff is for the few hardy souls who test themselves with life, who are out there in the arena, pushing when they don't feel like it, pushing when the avalanche of life is coming down on them, those who lie awake at night, trying to sleep, but worried about all that life has thrown at them.
And they keep glancing at the alarm clock. Shit! Its 1 am , now 2 am , 3 am....they take a sleeping pill or slam down a few shots of whiskey to help, and then around 4 am or something close to it, they drift off, only to have the alarm ring at 6am.
All the problems are still there, all the worries are too, but you know that relief is just one workout away. SO you push snooze, and then get damn mad at yourself for doing it. You remind yourself that although things are bad, there are others out there who are worse off. There are others who would kill for a roof over their heads or for a nice warm bed, or to have people who love them. The kids in the mountains where the coal companies raped the land and then left , playing in the creek down the way that is polluted with chemicals. The city kid who has no feelings about love or kindness because all that he has seen is cruelty. The kid whose Marine father was murdered in Tennessee and everybody just sweeps it under the rug. The kid who walks out of the doctor with a diagnosis of a terminal disease, not sure just what it all means, but one thing that he is sure of is that life right now feels a little different, and his parents are looking at him a little strangely, and all the nurses and doctors are super nice , even more than usual, and MAN!, can't this just happen to someone else right now? Why me?
And that alarm rings at 6am and you steel yourself to get up. You think that you have problems?
Get up, coward.
And you remind yourself of WILL OVER HOPE, and you think of all the fighting men from this country who have endured great hardship and still persevered and you say to yourself,
And I can't get my ass up to train? So you get up.
You slug down 3 cups of coffee and then you let the dogs out in the backyard and you see how happy they are and you think, live your life like a dog. No worry, no thoughts of the future, no holding grudges, no hard feelings. No thoughts of death or disease. Feel sick? Slow it down for a few days, let the body take care of it. Feel energetic? Romp and play and live it up. Eat when hungry , find a human who loves you above all else. Then one day? One day it is over, but you lived it as well and hard and one hundred percent as you could live it.
Down to the basement to squat. You turn on the light, just a small lamp in the corner. You turn on some Judas Priest, old Judas Priest. Load 135 on the squat bar and crank out 20 reps. Your knees and hips sound like Rice Krispie's but you know that after the first set, a few beads of sweat will appear and your body will start to feel warm, so you persevere. Next is 225x10. It feels great and you put 2 more 45's on the bar. 315x8, 365x8 405x8. All deep. No belt, no wraps.
Nobody watching you, nobody cheering you on. It is you and all you and that is what it is all about. No trophies or Workout Of The Day. Who needs that? You just need you and this therapy that someone invented long ago that you are damn thankful for.
This a purge, a cleansing, and the weight doesn't matter and the sleep doesn't matter and what anybody in the world says or does does not matter, all that matters is the moment, or even the moments where you and only you are fighting the demons, fighting the weight, and pushing through no matter what, showing yourself that you have what it takes to endeavor to persevere no matter what is going on in this fleeting thing that we call life. And you rack that last set and sit down and the dogs come over to you and they love on you and all of a sudden, you know, you just know, that you can handle whatever lies ahead.